Had a lovely week of vacation in Florida with Sean. I spent a lot of time sleeping and playing in the ocean, and did nothing at all more demanding than hanging out with Sean’s family. They’re an enjoyable lot, so it wasn’t demanding at all.
I could have used another week off, I think. Towards the end of my vacation, I was just barely able to start to think about getting back to work — but I wasn’t ready. I needed the first week to just rest, I think; I needed more time to actually get restored and rejuvenated.
So I spent some time streamlining my list this week. I let go of a few projects, and got myself to buckle down and finish off a few others. I put more leisure and fun things to do on my list. I spent more time at yoga and less time pounding my head on the mountain of stuff I have to do.
Still grumpy, though. I still want to do everything.
Came back to a mountain of work. I’ve been chipping away at it, but it’s been a slog, and it’s made me grumpy. One of the things I realized on vacation was how radical the mismatch is between all the stuff I want to do and the available time — it’s just impossible. Partly, that was a depressing realization, that I simply can’t do everything; but it was also reassuring. The reason I’m not getting everything done isn’t that I suck (though, sure, there are some areas I could improve in); it’s that it’s impossible.